could you hear me?
Thursday, July 15, 2004
Hope.. Wat is that??
A summery of wat happened juz now.. i killed a cockroach.. hahaz.. ok lah, i whacked it.. yea then my bro was supposed to get rid of it.. he was scarin me and my sis with it when it dropped and landed on its feet.. hahaz.. he dun dare to pick it up again.. then my grandpa came along and picked it up and started chasin my bro with it.. when me and sis saw them runnin our way we screamed and scrammed.. hahaz.. poor brother..(as if i care.. =P)
yea... 2 days ago.. i wanted to blog very much.. coz i wasn't feeling very happy.. i looked at wat i have today.. i realised i'm juz living day by day.. ok.. maybe i have been living day by day ever since dunno when, but it's the feeling of dread whenever i thought of goin to school to meet the pple and stuff.. ok, maybe not the pple.. maybe it's the environment.. it's quite sad that such a school have sad students.. it could have been the best school if not for the stupid system.. haiz.. if u think i'm condamning it, u're right on cue.. pls.. even my secondary school can do better than this.. oh.. muz be the principal.. frick him..
thinkin bout the past.. the days PAE 22/04 had together.. it's like so totally rock.. i'ld be lookin forward to the day, of fun and studies.. the attitude and feelings we had with one another is so totaly great.. will never forget the wonderful times.. then comes the time i called HOPE.. we had the same wishes and i think we even prayed for the same thing.. PAE 2204 peeps will know wat im referin to.. that few moments.. our hearts were linked and set on one direction.. that was the rarest thing you can find for a group of pple who were from different places who come together and feel the same feel...
lookin at the present.. i somehow lost that feelin.. that HOPE which i keep having, which i keep believing in.. i thought hope will always get me somewhere.. obviously it didn't work that last time.. i looked at myself.. the feelin of emptiness.. it's all ard.. everytime.. even though i may be crackin jokes or even laming myself, smiling all broadly.. the moment the jokes died off, the lameness fades, i felt blank.. nothing.. psycological u may say.. but it's the truth.. it's like living for the sake of living.. i'm not sayin that life is a burden.. ok maybe in some context it is, but i'm juz sayin that this burden can be lightened with something.. and that something has no defination.. it's juz missing in my life.. i don't know wat it is.. maybe comes one day i might juz realise it, but i dun think it'll come this soon..
nvm bout that.. lotsa stuff happened in choir.. conflicts everywhere.. i know it's unavoidable but it could have been lessened.. if pple have thought before they act.. be sensitive man.. wazzup with them.. and for those who cared.. thanks for that we will appreciate that but please dun prob into the matter too much.. it's not good for anyone's health.. believe me.. if not handle carefully it'll be like a knife which goes straight at the heart and the mind will be a whirl with all the events which you cannot catch up with, u'll get hurt in the end.. like they say "dun play with fire".. it's better to stay out of trouble then to get in and scream help after that.. it's an advice.. a good one..
finally.. i wish that everyone will be happy.. i dun like sad pple.. it juz makes everything sadder.. not as if my life is not sad liddat.. i dun like to cry.. the taste is horrid.. so i dun wish to see anyone cry.. i can't handle myself, wat makes u think i can handle cryin pple.. haiz..
yea.. talk bout cryin pple.. whenever pple cried, i'll wouldn't know wat to do.. "shu4 shou3 wu2 ce4" says it all.. can only see them cry and feel sad.. i felt helpless.. can do nothing to reduce their sadness.. all i can do is offer tissue.. change the topic.. hahaz.. it always does the trick.. hmm...
haiz.. wat's life?? to live is evil they say.. (dun believe me? try spelling the word backwards..) well.. think i gtg now.. abit too late.. will blog soon.. i guess.. =|
Ruth-Skunk || 3:00 pm
