could you hear me?

Friday, January 14, 2005

the week..

all right.. finally had the energy to come online. hahaz. hadnt been lookin at the comp screen for 4 nights. coz i was totally drained by the previous week of work and stuff. felt that i couldnt give more energy without resting. haiz.

yepz. started the week really bad i think. lack of sleep. crapz. so wasnt feeling very happy/hippy or watever you call them. yah. was half the time dreaming. and pretty forgetful. haiz. lathargic and stuff. yepz. no mood to talk perhaps. not even during P.E. on tues, my favourite lesson. dun ask me. haiz. sometimes i dun even feel like acknowledging pple. right i wasn't awake.

i guess i was a bit depressed/moody. the BPD was juz some stupid thingy i read from the newspapers lahz. dun even know if i got that. haz. felt like it.

was thinkin. i dunno. lots of stuff. like how i wish things were back to what they used to be. how things were workin. how i had been loved. how my world was still at home. i couldnt imagine how it had turned out this way. how my world was taken away from me. to somewhere unreachable. so far. now i'm pretty much feelingless if u ask me. coz i've lost my world. yes, him.

thinkin, yea. missing him. i think i had forgotten how he looked like. this is sad. i know i need him. but where is he. wanting to remember. but my stupid head refused to open it's memory files. haiz.

had been lookin for substitutes for my world. i guess it never can be substituted.

nvm abt that. anyway my mood was gettin better as the week passed. after sleepin for the entire tuesday's evening/night, i was feeling pretty much refreshed. yepz. and wed was CCA carnival. din do much that day too. walked ard, looked ard, talked ard, stoned ard, screamed ard, ran ard, laze ard, lamed ard. haiz.

today was pretty "high". i juz loved P.E.. it loosen up my uptight self. and i juz liked to work myself to the limit. physically. my mental strength isnt that strong. but it helps me to focus at least. was feeling energetic after the run ard the neighbourhood. wasnt feelin very tired. but the 2 additional rounds was really yucky. think i'm sick of running on tracks. very monotonous. but at least u can see ur destination. =P

choir. jrs came in. haiz. dun wanna say lah. the music we're makin isnt that nice ler. got the additional voices. nvm. and news that choir prac is gonna increased from 3 times a week to 4. very nice. =S nvm. heck with it.

oh, managed to complete work needed to be done. hahaz. there's more but i've got time. yepz. pretty happy with myself. though there's nothing to be happy abt. =S

haiz. forgot wat else i wanna blog abt. nvm.. shall think of it later..

Sarah: stop blaming yourself. i wasnt pissed off by u. juz the stupid leader i had for my grp. he's such a damn blur person. and he didnt even care abt managin the grp. irritating. >=( nvm. dun wanna mention this up again..


"past the point of no return, the final threshold..what warm unspoken secrets will we learn beyond the point of no return.."
-Al

Ruth-Skunk || 12:52 am