could you hear me?

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

abnormal..

after thinkin abt it.. maybe i'm juz over-reacting. no prob sha. i'm juz doin my duty as a friend. haiz. qing-jie said maybe i "feel the same way a mum would". i dunno. maybe.. =(

was laughing at my folly and cryin at the same time. sth's terribly wrong with me. i need a psychiatrist.

became a punching bag for my sis juz now. coz she said i looked like "want to die, dun die". then i replied "yah i wanna die. help me." "you say one huh. dun scream pain," and she punched me on the arm with her knuckles a few times. i didnt scream. though it's painful. guess i'm too immune to the pain. not as if i havent felt pain before. i'm feeling sadistic.

i cried and prayed in tears last night. i really hope God heard my prayers. guessed i've never prayed so much for anyone before. for the both of them. hope they are fine.

had a weird dream after i fell asleep. a new dream i never had before. nothing about anyone. juz myself.

my throat isnt getting any better.. irritation. accompanied by phelgm. haiz.. brr... Singapore weather getting colder.. think coz it's falling deeper into december. haiz. and i'm wearing a jacket. wonder wat will happen if i go hongkong. sure CMI. like i said in one of the previous post, you can throw me in the desert, i'll survive. but dun throw me in any cold place.

my muscle ache after a hot shower juz now. heat and cold. expand and contract. hurts everytime.. sux..

went to rummage thru yahoo juz now. wanted to fully utilise it's application. opened an photo album. and put some songs in the briefcase. my geocities is already full of junk for my hp. so not gonna touch that. hmm..

911's "Should Have Been The One" (<--click. dunno work or not..)- i love this song. really. ever since i heard it in the cd. blame ownself for everything that's happened instead. have taken up this "spirit" since then.

think it's juz all the bottled up feelings. like a room full of LPG. juz a spark will cause a huge explosion. right. stupid example. but i'm juz too tired to think of anything better. think i'm really not normal. nvm..

Renci SL & Esplande with Auntie Sarah (<--click!)- these are the photos i take those days. guess it was fun. i'm missing them.
=( haiz..

wat other songs do u guys want? i can only put up songs of size 5MB max. haiz. oh crap. cannot put up butterfly kisses. i'll find some way to do that.

eyes really tired. no mood to do anything. sis said i've became anti-social to the family. especially last night. i didnt even say hi to her when she came home. i guess i am. nothing interest me now? nah. i'm still bloggin at least. think i'll put up lyrics next.

i'm goin out with tk and xie tmr. watchin saw. xie's abit nuts. always watchin movies which scares her only. this time it's probably coz it's NC-16. to prove that she's finally 16? hahaz. i hope it's as nice as wat u said, aunt sarah.

think i'll stop here. and thanks aunt for intro-in me the song. another song added on to the "family love" category. luv ya and thanks..


"even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart..I love you too much to make you stay.."
- Al

Ruth-Skunk || 8:52 pm