Al-Rain> I want to protect someone precious to me...

could you hear me?

Friday, December 10, 2004

couldnt sleep properly last night. coz the light was on as my sis was using the comp. and i'm sleepin on the top bunk of the double deck mahz. so the light's like glaring on me. forced myself to sleep. kept rolling about. then felt cold. was shivering though i had a jacket and a blanket over me. i knew i was a gonner. temperature sure soar like crazy. then throughout the entire night i kept waking up and making myself sleep again. really hated it. then woke up at 6 this morn. thought my mum would give me medicine to eat. but she didnt. removed my jacket and try to sleep again. woke up at 10 finally. decided not to sleep anymore. plus my bro in the room with the comp on. made so much noise. haiz.

maybe i climbed down too fast or sth, i felt dizzy when i reached the toilet in my mum's room. ignoring it, i started to brush my teeth and stuff. but it got worser. felt exactly like the time i almost fainted in pri school. horrible. body refused to listen to my brain. couldnt hear. so i quickly finish up with the brushing and got onto my mum's bed to lie down. phew. luckily i didnt black out before that. haiz. maybe i was hungry or sth lah. this is bad. =(

havin throbbing headaches. crap. why got so many stuff de. my grandma called my mum to tell her about me. haiz. my mum wanted me to go doc. but i dun like it. even though it's FOC, but how good can it be right? there's no such thing as free stuff in this world. and i dun like this doc too.

oh God.. help me recover quickly. haiz.. i thought i'll be fine by sat. guess it'll never happen. arghz.. Dad.. where are u when i needed you most? haiz.. nvm.. i guess brooding over anything won't help my illness get better. worser perhaps.

the cut is pretty cool. the long slash on my arm. hahaz. not very visible right. no one will realise it's there. the white scar it left behind. wonder how it got there. funny.. yea yea, i promised.. am i more sadistic then u?

the wounds on my fingers aint healing. crapz. it looks like it had been burnt or some sort. weird. haiz. i didnt know plastic wrappers are that sharp. it cut thru the skin on my fingers. and i thought why my fingers are itchy. until i saw the cut.

hahaz.. think i've got alot of problems with myself. everytime talked bout the illnesses i'm havin or wateva wounds i had. crapz. think i'm morbid.

i dunno.. it seemed like i'm refusing all help from my family members. dun wanna trouble them i guess. haiz.

guess i missed the chance to chat with da-ge. haiz. she mailed me in the afternoon ytd. but i think i'm resting or sth. so sad.. =( nvm.. dun wan her to worry bout me also. me in this condition: bad..

didnt know that there are other pple seeing my blog. hahaz. coz someone linked it to theirs. oh wellz. nvm lahz. not say alot of pple anyway. i always warn pple before they read my blog that it is the very sad kind. probably the music. but i like the music. hahaz. and my sis asked me to change it. makes me sadder? maybe. i dunno..

think i'll stop here. haiz. gonna nap again. hate fallin ill. arghz..

"let's make a promise till the end of time..we'll always be together, and our love will never die.."
- Al

Ruth-Skunk || 1:15 pm