could you hear me?

Sunday, January 16, 2005

i dream..

friday -
had a very bad start for the day. i thought i remembered alot of stuff, like bringing notes for faith, and newspapers for gp. but on the way to school on the train, i realised that i forgot my gippy times. when i reached school and saw the luminous green files my class peeps had, i knew i was a goner. and when val asked abt econs w/s, i realised that that was undone too. triple death sentence. that's how my morning was.

gloomy all the way, esp after chem. wat the freaking hell is wrong with me. damn pissed with myself. and then i started to think of him again. this year will gonna be such a different year. so different without him.

comes choir sectionals after school. i guess i totally lost myself in music making. the only thing which puts my mind completely off him. you'll never see me looking sad during choir.

messed ard with the others. learnt a new song. talked to chunwei for a long while, abt music, singing and a little history of ourselves. went home near 6:30 but ended reaching home near 8.

went online to play this game. wanted to blog but didnt. continued to write chants for him. fell asleep after a while.

thoughts -
a smile can do wonders. it can brighten up someone's day. i tried smiling at people. strangers on the train, bus streets. some smiled back, some looked away. others ignored me. i dunno how many continued to smile afterwards or what they are thinking. but i juz hope to bring a little happiness or colour to this busy world.

i still feel like a kid sometimes. the kid i used to be. so wild and free. when things juz got so tied down, burdens everywhere. i so wish to throw everything away and be the kid i used to be. i think i always act very mature when in fact, i dont know anything. i dont want to know anything. or am i juz being selfish?


Time looks where we are and what we've been thru.
Time, sharing our dreams.
Time goes on and on everyday.
Time is what it is, come what may.


saturday -
woke up a bit late. oops. rushed ard here and there. ate the noodles my mum cooked which was a little blend. took a cab (oops) to AndSS (it's CCA open house). missed that place alot. the school still looks the same to me. everyone's busy with their CCA. the upper sec block is almost done.

went straight to the hall. to the usual corridor the choir always had been for CCA open hse performance. saw a sea of blue and white and a little maroon. i was uncertain wat their reactions will be i juz walked up to them anyway, with a smile. and the new P and VPs were happy to see me. hahaz. then joy intro me to the rest of the choir members. hahaz. felt so old when she said "grand senior". =P

talked to joy, puayfen and debra. joked abit. they had this "maroon 5" quintet which 5 guys wore maroon top and will be performing this self-arranged piece "flying without wings" made by the leader, the Anderson Idol, of the grp. oh wellz. chatted with my 3-years younger junior oiman. hahaz. it's funny how we cliqued. and we didnt really know each other well. =)

heard them sang. my gosh. not as well as i expect them to be coz joy said that ms lim commented that they're the best batch in AndSS comparing to the past years. or maybe becoz i heard too much of JC choirs hence my over-expectation. nvm. stayed on for a while more to talk abit before leaving for my meeting at amk kfc for the yangzheng mentoring.

everyone else are there. ray was later than me. lol. they were in 3 grps. my grp was doin on the proposal on the mayor's fund. 10,000 bucks. hadta do it properly. after finishing it, we chatted abit. find that i can talk to gp. those normal chats.

went to jurong after that. met up with xueli. actually wanna watch "meet the fockers" together. but there's no more time-slot. so we and this other guy from CO, think his name is qi ling or sth, ate and chatted a bit. then we went to the library while he went home. looked for books for her to read. i was lookin for this "phantom of the opera" book but they dun have it there apparently.

went off to meet da-ge. make-up for wed. hahaz. orchard. walked to cine to eat and chat. then to heerens to look at cds. couldnt find wateva i'm lookin for. nvm. listened a little to green day's "boulevard of broken dreams". oh, and we met vic there. as usual i ignored him. hahaz. (to vic: if u said hi, i would have said hi too. =P) went upstairs to action city. spent abt 15 mins there to look at the toys and figurines there.

went off at 8:15, as instructed by my mum. oh wellz. went to yishun 10 and waited for mum and bro. there's alot of pple. mostly the indians. wonder what they have. probably an opening of some new movie or some sort? or some festival? coz there's really alot of them. and we hadta squeeze thru them to get thru to the theatres. went in straightaway coz we're a little late. luckily the GV's known for it's half hour advertisements. so we didnt miss any part of the movie. oh, we watched kungfu hustle. yepz. not bad lahz. funny but i was tired.

went online intending to blog. had supper too. with my mum ard, there'll always be food. =P that's why i'm 60 kg. <-- (i dun mind this up here coz weight is nothing but a number. as long as i'm happy, i dun give a damn to numbers.) in the end i fell asleep in front of lappy. crapz. so yea. and woke up to log off when my arm hurt after my head restricted the blood flow to it. hahahaz. jkjk.

i guess that's all.

I dream I can run like the wind and be strong,
When my heart just wants to give in.
I dream I can be like the hero that's in me,
When I dream, I dream.


"it's not that i cant live without you..it's juz that i don't even want to try.."
- Al

Ruth-Skunk || 3:02 pm