could you hear me?

Monday, March 28, 2005

update on happenings..

sat: supposed to do work in the morn. ended up watching my bro played his CS campaign. hahaz. then went online for too long before i prepared for yangzheng.

was a lil late but they hadnt started anyway. had 2 tests for the kids. a maths re-test for the P6 and a speed test. hahaz. i was right. 50 qns in 15 mins. and both my mentees scored full marks for the speed test. heh.. coz i help them check. shhh... lol. eh, not that they have mistakes everywhere k. only 1 mistakes each. and i only tell them how many mistakes are in the paper while they check themselves. hahaz. one of them flung the re-test badly while the other passed nicely. tried to make her peer-teach the other but it doesnt seem to work. so nvm lah.

whee started to feel feverish at the end of the day. haiz.

went to makan and walked ard compass point with chunwei. she was damn high lah. all in all it was nice shopping ard with her.

met da-ge at 6 plus. i even forgot the time. lol. went to hougang station to wait. hahaz. i didnt mean to play hide-and-seek with you k.. lol. perhaps i wasnt too clear in my sms. =P opps. and chans smsed me abt "spying" where we were and guitar strings. we went to dhoby ghaut and walked back to the shop "Music Essentials" to look ard. luckily we went in a 10+minutes before it closes. hahaz. they've got lots of scores. and of course violins and violas. *silent scream* lol. geez. hope i can get one soon. =P (shouts: "mum!!")

after delaying the closing time for a while, we went to orchard. on the way, iris bought us yami yoghurt while we eat along the road. really nice. =D and she kept "forcing" me to eat more and give me the "angry" look. hahaz.

went to cineleisure to have LJ dinner. and we talked abit more. and we did a small $2 notes comparison. hahaz. the millenium note is indeed different. =D went ard cd shops to find the album that i wanted to buy. so sad none of them has it. oh wellz. nvm.. and we talked even more. joked ard too. =D and talked abt movies and stuff. after a long, long while in cine, we strolled to borders. looked thru the books there and stuff. then look ard their music and movies collection before heading home.

mum was a bit angry when i got home. opps. then i asked her if i could go for sarah's easter church service the nxt morning. she didnt object. juz nagged abit. the usual. before she fell asleep. went online and stuff. supposed to do hw. in the end only chatted and played minesweepers, the one in the games and on msn with sarah, before gettin sleepy.

sun: woke up damn late. oops. thank you chans for ur "morning sms". haiz. rushed abt and stuff. took the cab instead of the usual bus/train coz i was running late. luckily i reached kovan station in time after chans reached. then we began the long trek down to GB centre. was kinda weird coz we dun see anyone around. but they are in there. hahaz. chans was already perspiring like runnin tap. but he refused to change out of his apparels and i dun wanna be bothered too much abt it.

the centre was well-furnished. at least they have all the essential things they need. and they have many halls and rooms too.

sarah joined us throughout the service. the singing and the prayers were nice. felt at peace very much. chans kept giving me looks whenever i turned to look at him. *shakes head* =P

found out more abt Jesus. i guess it wasnt as bad as i think it might be. and the church pple were really nice. at least nicer than some that i know of.

the play was kinda cool. haha. a few humourous parts. sarah only gave the opening intro. director-cum-scriptwriter-cum-prop maker eh.. hahaz. the jury decides.. =)

the rest of the service is great too. pastor john elaborated lots of stuff. he reminded me of the AJ dabate as he gave lots of statistics. lol.

refreshments.. ate a little. sarah's nuts abt fishballs. chans refused to eat anything. chatted. decided not to play captain's ball since sarah hurt her tailbone when she fell down the stairs some days ago and chans dun wanna get all wet again. so we juz chat and sarah did some complex numbers.

went to eat KFC at heartland mall after a while. lunch was fair. chatted abit too. then walked ard the mall to look for stuff. hahaz.. chans felt metrosexual when we entered this part of the mall when most of the clothings were pink. lol. and he went into the wrong section of the bookstall. tsk tsk tsk.

went home after some fruitless shopping. but it's quite ok lah. at least we've spent time with each other. =)

went home. mum didnt say anything much. it was my bro who kept bugging me on why i went church. *sigh* my sis asked me how everything was. =) glad that i wasnt face with some direct opposition of my actions.

went to nap right after. sleepy. woke up late in the evening. after dinner and stuff i dun have much time to do hw. lol. online and stuff. did a bit of work only. but it'll pull me thru. =)

~~~
thoughts
why? why am i shown all this love? i wanna love but i cant. i know i'll be rejected. but i'm still loving, on the surface.

i realised that there are reasons to why sometimes pple view things as they are. eg. a person likes this thing because of something that happened or it brings back memories associated with it.

haiz.. i'm still searching. still compromising. still doing things i'm not sure i'm supposed to be doing. i found many similarities between them. juz too many. ='(

comfort and shelter.. i'm feeling this sanctuary i wanna feel.

finding, seeking.
everything i've been living for in my life,
it fits.
through all the things that had happened,
i learnt.
and although it hasnt all been well,
i found.
everything i've seen, good and bad,
i realised.
and now, i never felt that safe before,
after his depart.
i found another who would hold me
in the arms,
and give me comfort and lessons and joy
and peace.

i've learnt to walk along with the other pple, how to love them, how to smile unreservedly, how to give all i can.

perhaps i'm a little biased, but i'm trying to see things in others' point of view. not to judge pple on the surface, to overlook willfulness and stubborness. to look deeper into the hearts.

it sounded naive. but i'm juz gonna believe in myself.

i'm healing. i'm actually glad that i am. no point dwelling. but i'll miss him always. perhaps he led me to believe more. he made me stronger with his final action. i'll always love him with all my heart and soul.


"touched by the hands of an angel, blessed by the power of love.."
-Rain
Ruth-Skunk || 11:39 pm