could you hear me?

Sunday, April 24, 2005

bloggin..lol

haiz.. it's been such a long while since I've blogged.. lol! lotsa things had happened.. napfa's over! so happy! lol.. 26 pts silver. who can believe that? arghz. heck.. blame it to my sit and reach.. dun wanna bother abt retaking it. coz hafta do all over again. and i have no confidence of gettin 27 pts gold. lol! heh. satisfied.

so many emotions felt over the weeks..

oh, congrats Sarah on her packing and setup of comp. lol. too bad she still havent got her cable installed in the entire building.. haiz. this means 1 less person to chat online..

anyway qingjie lent me her violin! hahahaz. yea i'm so happy! that monday. qing, sarah and me went to J8 to get a bow and an A string coz the one on the violin was about to snap. and qing-jie helped me to changed it. so nice of her. hahaz..

choir getting more interesting. the excitment is in the air. mark had been giving motivational talks. so nice of him. but that's his job mahz. yea. and to think that gold was even impossible a week ago. lotsa emotions during choir, exasperation, anger, hopelessness, excitement, joyfulness.. haiz. and i've been goin home exhausted by choir. didnt do any hw at all for one whole week's nights..

screwed up my spa. where on earth would one get 221% yield. and scolded so many times by the invigilators. i dun wanna remember.. econs class test was horrible too. heck la..

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which is more important? our own feelings or the responsibility of being a friend? i think i asked alot of pple their opinions abt this. and they all give me the same answer, "depends on the situation." but some of them gave me more than that answer, like qing-jie and whee who gave themselves as examples. thanks to you all. haiz.. was feeling stressed being me like wat i told whee. life's a dilemma everyday. and i've been shutting myself out of the world for a few days ler. so sad.. it's either this or that. it's either none or all. why cant it all happen my way? hahaz. that sounded selfish huh. so i shut myself out lah.. i guess i'll rather hurt myself than hurt others..

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A Friend Is One of Life's Most Beautiful Gifts

A friend is a person you can trust.
A friend will be there when you really need someone, and will come to you when they need help.
A friend will listen to you and never try to change you.
A friend is someone you can share dreams, hopes and feelings with.
A friend is one of life's most beautiful gifts.

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did i meet the criteria of being a friend? haiz.. i probably tried too hard.. or did i? or maybe i'm juz some superficial being ard you, trying to make my presence known. or i guess not.. probably my existance is juz one part of the memory which will never be recovered at all anymore. perhaps there wasnt even that part of the memory.. i guess my non-existence will not have any effect on anyone.. "try to leave a legacy of being a friend to someone." perhaps i'm marked fail for that. and i guess i'm a good at being a failure.

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"With no notes, there's no melody.
With no rhythm, there's no music."

hmm.. i hope everyone will do well for the syf. show to everyone that you can do it! GOLD choir, GOLD band, GOLD co. i want to see it happen. and to all smug people out there, you all sux. dont label anyone juz because they are not at that standard yet. i despise you.

"it's not about beating anyone. ACJC's meaning of being number one is to beat VJC. VJC's meaning of being number one is to beat ACJC. but AJC's meaning of being number one is not to beat anyone, but to give all our hundred percent to make music. it's like playin soccer. ACJC's like AC Milan, always consistent, always there at the top. VJC is like England, like Beckham. everything's there, they have all the good players and they played really well, but for 14 years they have not gotten the cup. we're like Brazil, like Ronaldino who have fun all day long and dun really care abt training. But in SYF, like the World Cup, wat happens? Ronaldino still thrashes Beckham like nobody's business. but while doing all the stunts and everything, what do you see? he had this big smile on his face and he actually enjoyed kickin soccer. so wat are we supposed to do? we muz enjoy making music. that's wat we're and we will be tryin to achieve.. not to win anyone and be choir of the year. juz to give a hundred percent, a hundred and ten percent, a hundred and twenty percent while we're on stage. and that, no matter wat the result we get, at least we know, we had already given our best, that we enjoyed the music we made.."

music making. i think i almost forgot all about music making. and i was pulled back from the desert of emptiness for that.

"music brings out the element of human life. you muz sing with all your hearts, with all your life's experiences. tell it like as if you have nothing to lose anymore, to inspire other people, to let them know wat your feelings are, to make known to the rest of the world that it's you and it's your story, and it's special. no one has the same story behind their every smile. and that is wat you are supposed to do. and the moment you step into this (choir) room, i want you to shut out the rest of the world outside, dun even care abt your boyfriend or girlfriend or anyone else. it's juz you and music. as one."

arts students are indeed different from science students. lol!
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i love Tsubasa - Wings. when we first sang it on stage in siglap it gave the most wonderful feeling. now i'm not sure.. they're so inconsistent. i gave up trying to feel that feel again.. haiz..
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anyway, gambatte everyone! one week plus more to go and we're there!! fill up ur world of music with passion and love for it! good luck!

P.S. remember to take my quiz! hahahaz.. it's below this entry..
Ruth-Skunk || 5:47 pm