could you hear me?

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

fighting against destiny..

Just when I had managed to talk through my mum.. And gotten my bro to be enthusiastic about me teaching him physics.. Things hadta crop up.

Am I just trying to fight against this ending which I had not want? Probably. I tried. I guessed I'm not appreciated for it.

Hadn't they understand it? I just want time with the people I love. I'm not trying to accomodate. I wanted it. Why can't they understand? I'm not forced to do anything. I wanted it.
---

Depressive Reaction
Most people have blue moods from time to time in their lives. Indeed, when faced with a personal tragedy like the death of a loved one, a normal healthy individual may well undergo a period of depression. A person suffering from the depressive reaction, however, has persistent feelings of worthlessness and pessimism unrelated to event that might depress a normal person. An inability to cope with problem situations is gradually magnified into an inability to cope with anything at all. Attempts to mask the crisis by putting on a "front"--feigning cheerfulness and optimism--give way to episodes of total hopelessness. Suicide is often considered and sometimes attempted. Threats of suicide from a depressed person should always be regarded seriously.
Common physical symptoms accompanying depression are fatigue, loss of appetite, and insomnia.

Dissociative Reaction
The dissociative reaction involves a basic disruption of the patient's personality. The dissociative reaction permits a person to escape from a part of his personality associated with intolerable anxiety. The escape is made in various ways: by forgetfulness or absent-mindedness, dream states (including sleepwalking), amnesia, and--most seriously-- the adoption of multiple personalities, in which the patient behaves like one person at certain times and like an altogether different person at other times.

Schizophrenic Reaction
Schizophrenia, the most common and destructive of the psychotic reactions, is characterized by withdrawal from external reality, inability to think clearly, disturbances in affective reaction (capacity to feel and express emotion), and a retreat into a fantasy life--all of these resulting in a progressive deterioration of the patient's ordinary behavioral patterns.

Simple Schizophrenia
The patient with simple schizophrenia experiences a gradual loss of concern and contact with other people, and a lessening of the motivation needed to perform the routine activities of everyday life. There may be some personality deterioration, but the presence of hallucinations and delusions is rare.

Hebephrenic Schizophrenia
This form of schizophrenia is marked by delusions, hallucinations, and regressed behaviour. Hebephrenics babble and giggle, and often react in inappropriately childish ways. Their silly manner can make them seem happier than other schizophrenics, but this disorder often results in severe personality disintegration--more severe, in fact, than in other types of schizophrenia.

Manic-Depressive Reaction
This disorder, also called an affective reaction, is characterized by two phases--mania and depression. Patients are governed by one phase or another or by the alternation of both.
The manic phase may be mild and bring elation and a general stepping up of all kinds of activity. The patient tends to talk endlessly and in an associative rather than a logical way. If the disorder is more severe, he may act or dress bizarrely; he may be a whirlwind of activity and become so excited and agitated that he forgoes food and sleep and ends up in a state of total collapse.
In a mild depressive phase, the individual feels dull and melancholy, his confidence begins to drain away, and he becomes easily fatigued by daily routines. When the depressive phase is more severe, the patient starts to retreat from reality, gradually entering into a state of withdrawal that is very much like a stupor. At this point he hardly moves or speaks. He may be unable to sleep. Eventually he begins to question his value as a human being and is crushed by feelings of guilt. He may refuse to eat. Symptoms may progress to the point where an attempt at suicide is a real possibility.
Although the manic-depressive psychosis may alternate from one of its phases to the other, one or the other phase is usually dominant for a prolonged period of time. Depression is more often dominant than mania. Manic-depressive patients often recover spontaneously for periods of time, but relapses are fairly common.

---

Sometimes when I tried to relate an idea or raise a question, I was ignored. Perhaps too often of such acts caused me to be attention seeking.

Maybe I should stop trying to fight. I'm feeling helpless. Useless.

Ruth-Skunk || 1:00 pm

who am i?

Name
Al-Rain
Age
18.
and born again this year. =)
I Was/Am
*ask God. I gave Him all my records. =P
*that someone you knew.
*imperfect.
*contradicting.
Quote
~Who am I that You are mindful of me?
~You took me right out of the blue simply by showing that you love me too.

tales told

Lost a post..
Disturbed night..Great day..Bad flu..
Random thoughts: outings
Random ramblings: anger
Random ramblings: Mum and patience
Random tale: Devil and Lies
cool day
prelims.. shopping..
random thoughts: God, love
what else could i say but thank You with all my heart

memories

July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
January 2007
April 2007
July 2007

blogs

Bromine~Sis
Da-Ge
Chansey
Qing-Jie
Saltshaker

places

Hongkong pics
Let'sSingIt.com
Album Directory
Orisinal
AJC IVLE
AJC Schoolbuzz
Count Your Sheep Comic Strips

thanks to

blogger
blogskins

whispers

Al-Rain> I want to protect someone precious to me...