could you hear me?
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
do not worry..
I think I know how it feels now.. I thought I might have the experience to take up the job. Aye aye.. Feeling frustrated and totally helpless here. Sheez.
But I'm still happy doing the work He has given to me. Perhaps He's been holding up jobs for me so that I can concentrate more in this work. Everyone's so busy lah.. Haiz. I think I need help.. Hmm..
I simply love Jesus' Sermon on the Mount. =) So many many things to learn in there..
Matthew Chapter 6
Giving to the Needy
"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.
"So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honoured by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Prayer
"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, closed the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
"This, then, is how you should pray:
" 'Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.'
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Fasting
"When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, pour oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Treasures in Heaven
"Do not store up yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will also be.
"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.
Do Not Worry
"Therefore I tell you do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is life not more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Haiz.. Why am I feeling so left out? Even words of concern doesnt cheer me up like how they used to. Seeing everyone having best friends around and I'm like just a hi-bye friend or sth. Not here nor there. Have I not tried? Or just maybe I'm not on the same frequency? Or I'm just being me, the me that I have always been.
Used to feel that family should be number one. Thanks to my sis, 'cause my other family members used to tell me not to be like her who placed her friends on the top of her list. But when things happened, when my pillar of support at home, the one who I loved so much and perhaps the only person who I spoke to the most left, somehow I think we switched places? A bit here and there. Ya, I'm like focusing on friendships cause I've been spending alot of time with family and while she focuses on family since she's stable with all of her friendships.
Blame it on myself.. Perhaps I dont know how to show concern. Dont know how to communicate. Everything I did is all on the surface. Nothing deep.
Deeply scarred.. Haiz.
Yes I should try to write my hurts in the sands instead. God please heal me..
Have this huge gaping hole in my heart. Haiz. Perhaps I'm slowly filling it up. Not too sure.. Hmm.. Anyhow, God knows best..
Why do I trust so much? People hurt each other. Haiz. Have been an afflicter and a victim. No one is complete true. Haiz. People will never be there for you all the time. Not even friends. When the day of judgement comes, even family will abandon. Sad.
Pessimistic thoughts eh.. Lol. Satan's work.. Maybe self too.
All in all, do not worry. He gives as He deems fit. Everything in His time. When you're hurt, just look up into the sky. He is here with me. Always.
Ruth-Skunk || 4:21 pm