could you hear me?

Friday, February 17, 2006

talkin to myself. talkin to God.

Like serious.. No one is listening. So what for say anything when it goes unheard. It'll be just like talking to myself. But I've tried, seriously. And once too many times I'm ignored. So yea. Decided to stop. Even though I have still so much to tell. No point telling. Might as well. Don't want to be labelled as an attention seeker anyway. I'll just shut up. And perhaps talk to Someone who will appreciate me. Someone who is always listening. And Someone who knows my heart. He's even here looking at me typing this.

I know I'm not exactly a social outcast. People don't directly point at me and say, "You. You don't belong here." But I can see. I'm not that dumb ok. Maybe too sensitive for my own good. Maybe that's why I don't feel like talking much these few days.

I'll just shut up in the middle of the conversation if I feel that it is not heading anywhere.

Now my skin really looked burnt. Like the skin's peeling off. I've stopped applyin the cream but yea. Still peeling. Shizzle. Last night, it was glowing red. I wonder what happened.. The itch came back. -.- It's worse than peeling like a snake.. At least for a snake, everything comes off at one time and it has a new skin before peeling. I'm seeing new stains of blood. God. Please provide me with Your vitamin H.

I've found a discussion board on Calvary Chapel. I don't know why some other christians are against CC. Some even went to the extent of hating. I thought Christians are supposed to love. Haiz. Why is this happening Lord?

I seriously don't know what to say now. For the Lord knows everything, even the thoughts that came in my mind. Even before they came into my mind, He knows them. He empowered me with love. But why do I often isolate myself from it. I know I shouldn't. Hmm. Maybe I'm thinking too much.

I just wanna thank You Lord. I just wanna say I love You Lord.

Cell later today. I don't know how I will respond. Maybe I'll keep quiet. We'll see lah. May the Lord lead me in His plan today and whatever I do, may it be as it is in His plan. Thank You!
Ruth-Skunk || 12:10 am