could you hear me?

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

lead and led..

Yes, yes. It's funny to be sociable yet anti-social at the same time. Just like how everything else contradicts in my life. I'm trying to control my anger. Especially after venting it on a cockroach the night before which was really frightening. (You can verify with my sis.) Pms perhaps? I think it's just that the night didnt turn out the way I hoped it would be. Tempers flaring from each of us. Made me really grouchy.

Sometimes silence is the best answer...

I realised that I'm more of a worker than a guider. I can only be a guide if I had experienced or done something before. If not, I work well being led.

Finally I found the difference between "sense" and "logic". Thanks to Sarah and Qing-jie. So my saying was right, "I have more sense than logic."

I still like JC's place. I still like that window sill. But perhaps this time round, things are different.. I could sleep on the window sill forever.. And thanks Sha for accompanying me this time. And the ride home.

The movie "Singapore Gaga" played in the audi was really nice. Had lots of reflections while watching it. Made me feel more Singaporean and proud to be one. Although I still dun like some of its characteristics.

Away from the noise and enter into the realm of silence.
Escaped from judgement and welcomed self-reflection.
Has it not been what it has been?
To see, to hear, to corrupt, instead of thinking, feeling.
What it has been has never been it
Until you let it be..

当你孤单你会想起谁？你想不想找个人来陪？Actually my answer to that would be God, then friends then family. Haiz. 我很想找个人，可是又有谁会愿意呢？

God has never want us to be lonely. It's alright to seek company. But it's also alright to be on your own. Then you can have a quiet time with Him alone..

I was angry. Perhaps. At how insensitive people could be. Maybe they arent but they were just playing. You can pick on me no matter how much you like. But do not pick on the people I love. Insensitive remarks. Name calling. I shouldnt have tolerated. I should have stood up for you. No matter who did it. Even if it's another good friend. I should not have kept quiet. Jie forgive me.

I realised we do have alot of similarities. You keep wanting to do things for me. And I just want to do the same. But I can't order you cause you are still older than me. And that acknowledgement of you being my jie means alot. I'm fine on my own sometimes. Maybe sometimes I seeked a little too much attention from you. Yes, I realised that. I shall cut down on that.

I could lay up there for hours. Just me and the sky. The stars and the clouds in the Heavens. Enjoyed every music the environment makes. Like what the movie states, it is constantly changing. It is never the same. And although it's only for a short 10+ minutes, it's one of the best naps I had ever took. And I felt no worries, no responsibilities, no one to think about except me and Him. It's a nice time..

I felt like a child again. But I'm grown-up. I should be more matured.
Ruth-Skunk || 1:34 pm