could you hear me?

Monday, November 21, 2005

violin..

I have to admit. Yesterday was quite a fun day. To practice together and stuff. Got to play the violin. Got to play table tennis. Think I need more prac with my bro. Shucks. My mum wasnt that happy with me though. Cause I always seem to put churching and practice before family. Spending lots of time on them these few days. Somehow my perspective of people changes. I don't know. I just don't like to be controlled. Guide is the word. Haiz.. People..

Fingers hurting again. That's good. Means the skin will harden. Then not that painful to play the violin. I cant seem to read notes. I cant seem to play from the scores. I've got this phobia of not keeping up. Of missing a note. But I can play by intuition very well. And the imaginary notes running in my head. "If I'm able to sing it, I should be able to play it." That's what I always tell myself. But sometimes I just cant get the notes out right.

Sank into a bit of pms ytd. Just a tiny bit. Sianz. Want it to come faster.

I just love playin the violin. I just love the sound of it. I don't wanna show the world I am a violinist. I just wanna play for myself. For Him. To Him.

Cried just now. I don't know why. Just started tearing and stuff and I looked up into the sky and asked God, "Why Father? Why me?" Wanted to cry somemore but I couldnt.

During service yesterday I thought of dad again. Got a bit sad. Why did I wait? Luckily I didnt wait too long..

Haiz.. Hope later's ECP trip with Tk and Xie will make me happy.

看着那白色的蜻蜓 在空中忘了前进
还能不能 重新编织 脑海中起毛球的记忆
再说我爱你 可能雨也不会停
黑色毛衣 藏在那里 就让回忆永远停在那里

Gotta run..
Ruth-Skunk || 9:40 am