could you hear me?

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Wat it seems doesn't mean it is..

well i juz wanna put sth up.. juz thought of this subject the other day. really. you may think that i'm always so stuck up. always not with the others. well, the truth is i juz want to be with them. i dunno. maybe i'm juz still a bit confused. nvm. and there are somethings which when pple say that they arent, actually they really are. when they dun want sth, they actually want it. the more they felt opposed to some idea, the more they really want to have it. well.. i dunno..

that's the qns.. am i who i want me to be? somethings juz cannot be forced to.. and in this world, only the normal are privilege and wont be discriminated.. i tried to.. i cant.. haiz. oh well, juz let it be bahz.. guess that i'll be ok sooner or later.. really.. compared to when i was young, i was really better.. thinkin-wise and stuff.. and iris said i was more girly.. when did that happen? hahaz.. nvm..

dun ask me.. think i was always depressed? no.. actually i dunno.. juz sad.. yea.. for myself.. manz.. think i pity myself alot.. why muz i be someone i am not? i dunno.. sth juz took control over me.. haiz.. nvm.. i'll juz shut that part up right now.. hmm...

probably the laming works.. yea.. juz another way to make me forget abt things goin on in school bahz.. really, i am like another person right now. dunno why.. maybe a form of escapin from reality? or izzt juz another way of concealin the real me that i really am? hmm.. i dunno.. juz go and ask anyone i knew in sec school or even pri school.. faith or even tk.. no one will believe the person u ask abt is really me.. yea.. haiz.. sometimes i didn't even believe that i am the person i am right now.. but probably, the person i am right now has always been who i am, it's juz that i'm showin it off now.. i dunno.. confused? right.. think i am too.. hahaz..

am i really biased? i dunno.. probably.. but i do try not to be.. really. i try not to side anyone.. i try to be in everyone's shoes, to see through the eyes of everyone. well the word is "try".. at least i did.. unlike some other pple. insensitive.. right.. not tryin to start another anger management thingy here.. actually the anger management thing do work brilliantly.. at least i'm not that irritated anymore.. ok, the word is "try" again.. haz.. well.. i think it'll be nice to have pple who do see other pple's view before decidin wat theirs will be.. the world will be a better place..

hmm.. i guess im the really faithful type.. as in, the loyal and trust i have in pple. u see, if u can get me on ur side, u'll have my fullest support for everything.. that's me i think.. sometimes, i'll make things work.. hmm.. dun worry, so far i'm still on my own.. haz.. not plottin anything yet.. yea.. actually u can't get angry at a friend for long.. u actually will forget about it after a while.. but what if the person is not a friend? dun ask me.. i can get nasty.. well, try not to.. (there's no "try" word.. i am really tryin..) haiz..

think it's really long enough.. shall stop here..



Ruth-Skunk || 7:37 pm