could you hear me?

Monday, June 20, 2005

disturbed..

"Sad. I'm juz plain sad. I dunno why. Empty. It's killing me inside. The silence is deafening. I need sth to fill me. But I've tried everything but to no avail. Help. I'm tired of this. When is end time coming? My sould is weary. I'm sick of how practical people are. They juz treat religion as sth to confide into when they are in trouble. And they're like "it doesnt bother me." NOO.. I think it's either going too smoothly for me or that Satan is playing with me. Cuz I know that it is always hard to be with the Lord and that there'll always be adversities to overcome before I can reach Him. But this is too easy. I think Satan has read my fears and are using it against me. I need help. I need comfort." - screaming out loud silently in my mind late last night at about 12am.

I guess I'm really tired. Read Joy's(my jr) blog. I guess I'm a bit scared too. What if I do not have a place in Heaven? What if the Lord doesnt allow me to go there? But does that really matter? I think I'm losing it. Faith and hope. I need someone or something to renew me. Haiz.

Where have you been...
Ruth-Skunk || 2:18 pm