could you hear me?
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Reflections: "Love. Eunuchs"
Somehow I think I'm blinded from all the goodness shown by the people around me. And until we lost it will we realise it..
Lappy's back, safe and sound. But it's memories had been erased. It's brain got busted. I think it had been overworked. But my sis's bf, Nick, said that I had dropped it or something. Perhaps. Oh wellz. My fault any-oh-how. Yepz. Will back-up all it's memories next time. Just in case I lose it again. Haiz. Thank you, Lappy, for existing. =P
People just keep making me feel that I have not appreciated them as much as they deserved. Or perhaps I have not. More and more I love them..
How is it like to really fall in love? Almost many times I had. But who is the one out there? Was talking about marriage with my sis yesterday. I said,
"I may not get married." But she quoted her famous reply again,
"Those who said they won't, they'll be the first to." And I said,
"If only there's someone." "There's so many guys out there." "So? There's only one in my heart." Lol! I think she thought that I'm referring to God cause she gave that -.- look. Actually I'm not. God is my Father. How can I marry Him? Lol!
When the topic of education and studies was brought up between me and bro, I was really agitated by his I'll-study-later attitude. But I'm really heartened to hear from him that "It's never too late to start". And he said it with such vigour and determination. Will look forward to see us studyin together. Yepz.
I realised that I've been avoiding. Aye. What's wrong with me? Need a mental check-up. Lol! I think I really can't face rejection. So rather being rejected, I'll do it myself. Hence the escape began. Sheez. Seek, I tried. But whenever it became a let-down, I'll run and hide. Back to that dark side of my mind and cry. "One can feel lonely even if there's a million people around." That's what I told Xueli today. It's the most ironic sort of loneliness, isn't it? I can't help but feel that I'm unappreciated. I walk out of crowds to be alone. I'm weird, am I not?
For as long as I shall live, I will testify to love.
Touched by an Angel: To love is a like taking a leap of faith. It is to risk your own well-being and let another into your life.
Naruto: It is to care and protect someone important.
Somehow, have I done all that? I'm not sure. But I'll stand for my own belief! "It's only right to stand up for someone you know." I told that to Jie before. Where has all the righteousness gone to? Why are we afraid to be firm with ourselves, our thoughts, our beliefs? Remembered the chinese lesson we had early this year: We are all eunuchs in the world today. Not that we're all castrated men, but we're all 窝囊废s who wont stand up for another when they're in trouble.
"And every morning I wake up to witness the greatest miracle.. Life. Thank You Father. God bless us all!" - Al
Ruth-Skunk || 9:50 pm
