could you hear me?

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

laugh?

Hmm.. I've never known how it feels to her. We all see it so superficially but we never know that she may be hurting inside even as she laughed.. And we all thought she was just having fun. And we were all wrong. And I never realised it until tears came out of her eyes. And I never realised how painful it is until I tried it myself. I guess laughter covers it all huh? Like when I hurt myself when I crashed into the table trying to catch the ball. Though it hurts, and my breath was knocked out by the crash, I still laughed a few times just to cover the hurt.

Just like over dinner ytd. Nick was telling a joke so funny, I laughed until I cried(like I always do). But I was laughing so hard, I really felt like crying after that. The sadness just struck me again. I don't know what kind but I just felt so sad. Haiz.

Something's wrong with me eh?

Being a tool. Not bad lah. At least I'm useful. At least you're happy with the way things are. Maybe..

I really dont wanna care anymore.. But I just cant help it. Maybe being a tool is better than anything else..

Maybe I love too much.. Haha..

现在我的幽默 只是掩饰着心痛 我的难过

我想要学会自我催眠 痛觉会少一些
潜意识作祟 想着想到失眠
我躺在没有你的房间 寂寞更加明显
我渐渐的自我催眠 却回不到从前

我想要学会自我催眠 聪明再多一些
潜意识作祟 想着想到失眠
我走在没有你的世界 却走不到永远
我渐渐的自我催眠 慢慢闭上双眼

Maybe there's no need for a reciprocating action. Cause we'll still be able to be together for eternity.. As promised. Hmm.. Promise for a lifetime.. That's so long..

And I wonder what people will feel if I say "See you in heaven" to them. Lol! Wont they get scared or sth? Lol! But it's nice. To know that we'll still be able to meet no matter what.. Somehow.. =)

"Never Meant To Belong" Bleach soundtrack. Sounds really nice. =) With the violin raging inside. Haiz..

skunk skunking off.. <=)
Ruth-Skunk || 12:53 am